Why Comparing Kids in Sports Does More Harm Than Good

Parents, the comparison game is killing us, and we don’t even realize it.

When we compare our kids to others, we take away their chance to love the game on their own terms.

“Look at the handles on that kid!” “I spent every day in the gym back in my day getting better!” These types of comments, while often well-intentioned, can undermine a child's self-esteem. Every kid has their own journey, their own pace, and their own wins—big or small.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring our children's progress against the standout performances we see on social media or at local games. But sports should be a personal experience, shaped by individual growth and unique experiences. By focusing on comparisons, we risk making kids feel inadequate or pressured, ultimately diminishing their enjoyment of the game.

Let’s celebrate their growth, not someone else’s milestones. The goal should be to encourage kids to develop a genuine love for the sport, driven by personal achievements and self-improvement rather than external validation. When a kids makes their first basket, plays through a challenging game, or shows improved teamwork, these are victories worth recognizing. We’ve got to celebrate them!

The game is theirs to love—let’s keep it that way.

By emphasizing effort, resilience, and personal progress over comparison, we empower kids to build confidence, develop their skills, and find joy in the process. Let’s focus on what truly matters: supporting our children as they discover their own path in sports and in life.